Did they really say, Dickie?

There is just too much wrong with this.

Let’s begin with the term “dickie”. Does anyone outside a battered double-wide trailer call a penis a “dickie”? Really?

Then there’s the part about paying $2.40 each for what is essentially a paper towel with a hole in the middle. Really?

And the part about “just spit it out.” Like you need a bib on his cock so you don’t have to swallow? Really?

Look luvs. Grab a 12-pack of plain white terry washcloths next time you are at Costco, wash ‘em a few times, cut off the scratchy labels, and keep them tucked in a drawer or a basket by the bed. Easy.