opinions expressed are those of the writer

Yesterday I wrote about my experience and opinions of bondage, and today I want to continue on that, in part to clarify that what I wrote is my experience and perception of things, which is certainly not a universal experience of bondage.

I also want to be direct, that my experience is limited. Although the number of times I have been bound probably far exceeds that of the average Jill, in the realms where bondage is common, the dozens of times that I have been tied up is peanuts. So not only can I not speak for the typical experience, I also have no idea how my perspective will change as my experience increases.

Additionally, there is an entire realm of BDSM–of which bondage is the “B” component–and pain being an aspect of so much of this, and for many people, pain is a big big part of bondage, a good part. My previous post did not give this just attention, quite possibly because for me, pain is not the main attraction of this.

But, let me say clearly that (for me) pain is a functional element of this. I spoke to that; I acknowledge that the experience comes with pain and (for me) existing within the pain is formative and restorative.

I want to also acknowledge that my experience has been particularly fortunate. You might even say I have been spoiled. I have certainly had my share of times with what I called “household” bondage. But I have also been very blessed to have found myself in the hands of superb, highly experienced, and wonderfully spirited talent, most recently with Max.

These were times when I could surrender deeply with trust in the rigger’s experience. This surrender, combined with the caliber of sensation from the rigger’s skill, results in very rich effects.

And I have realized that bondage forces me to trust. This is important in my life right now, when my trust “mechanism” is so brutally bruised. But I believe that it is important in our society overall, where we are presented with more and more reasons to distrust. Being engulfed in a bondage situation, gives a full impact experience of trust, a splendid reminder that trust can not only exist, but can be rewarded.

Really, it is no wonder that I have become very fond of this stuff.

Photo: ropes on the beach by Til Krech and used with Creative Commons license